Cause its 1.23am in the morning and I really need to rant somewhere.
I finally remembered I had abandoned my darling blog here, hence the rant. Here.

Okay, so most of you know that I am working somewhere (not gonna reveal it) so yesssssss. I have been happily working till an incident happen. Actually, many incidents happened. I swear the management is so fucked up there that one point of time I'm working and another point I am not. It's like 8.30 am your manager texts you and confirms that you are working and 8.40am your manager tells you you're not working. What's worse is when your manager & her PA COMPARES you to other part timers that works there for freaking years already. JUST IN CASE YOU DON'T KNOW HAR P.A., I am like freaking new and I NEED PEOPLE TO GUIDE ME NOT BRING ME DOWN?

My "best" moment with the P.A. is when I was working night shift and the P.A. was having her break/something IN THE OFFICE okay. And I was working with another part timer. I was actually doing something like inserting flyers into the plastic bag and also writing transvoids and there was customers on and off. Okay so when I was doing a customer transaction, there was a phone call and the queue was fxxxxxg long, I swear. So I didn't answer it. I called back but no one answered. That nvm, later I got this text that asked me to "Check whatsapp group" and this was coming from the P.A. staff INSIDE THE OFFICE. Okay okay fine. I checked whatsapp group and it was actually a "warning message" for me to actually nt stand at the cashier and do something else like uhm..............Replenish stocks or front facing/whatnots. First thing on my mind: OKAY CANT YOU GET OUT OF THE OFFICE AND TELL ME. WHY IS THERE A NEED TO POST IT ON THE WHATSAPP GROUP. It is like ridiculous and I just started work like 1 month ago (and mind you I didn't even get to work that much).

Today really pissed me off. Cause I was supposed to work tomorrow at 10am in the morning and then they changed my shift to 5pm in the noon. UHM. OKAY. WOW. Of course I can't make it, I have something on ok. They searched for staffs to work on that day but no one wants to work and guess what.

This is what the manger got to say "Ader Pt uat ape semua tkley keje". It means "whatfor have part timers when all cannot work". NUMBER 1: I SEND MY REQUEST ALREADY AND YOU DID NOT FULFIL MY REQUEST. DON'T EXPECT ME TO HELP YOU COVER UP WHEN YOU YOURSELF CANNOT HELP ME. AND I REQUEST FOR MANY DAYS TO WORK BUT ALL WAS REJECTED AH THANKS.

And the P.A.'s reply was the ultimate blow "U ols tink nk kejar assignment, dun think of work first". It means "If you think of assignments, don't even think of working" EH NBCB, IF I DONT NEED TO PAY MY SCHOOL FEES AND ANY OTHER FEES I WOULD NOT EVEN WORK LA EH. I SWEAR THIS IS THE FINAL BLOW. Tomorrow, I am sending my resignation letter first thing in the morning. Okay actually this was the ultimate blow "U want to work or nt or else resign". OKAY LOR YOU SAID SO RIGHT? I FULFILL YOUR WISH. I, NADIAH, AM GOING TO FREAKING RESIGN FROM WORK WITH 24 HOURS NOTICE TMR. My resignation letter is ready. Just waiting to shove it in your face with my uniform as well as my name tag.

I actually love my job, I JUST HATE THE PEOPLE AROUND ME IN THE JOBSCOPE. SO LONG SUCKERS. I really hope people will just quit and quit and then you will be left with just full timers. THEN WILL YOU KNOW HOW TO APPRECIATE YOUR PART TIMERS. THANK YOU XX. 

Blessed.

So lately I've been having a couple of setbacks in life and i'm thankful to have such wonderful friends & an awesome boyfriend who was there for me to hear me out and stuffs liddat.

If you don't know yet, I hardly share my problems with anyone. Like REAL problems. Not those minor minor ones. It's not that I don't want to share my problems or what not but sometimes I don't share my problems with people because.................I don't trust them with my life. I met a couple of people who asks you "what's wrong" because they simply want to know/enjoy seeing you suffer/whatnot. Not with the pure intention of helping you get through it or maybe go through your hard times with you.

Often, I get pissed with telling people my long story and getting replies like..................."oh, okay". WHAT THE CURRY FISH LAH. I'm sorry lah but an "oh okay" does not calms the sorrow heart but it makes it worser la please.

So recently, I shared my sorrows&my pain with my closest friends and they were damn sweet to motivate+encourage+even give me advice to help me overcome my sorrows. I was feeling seriously blessed at that point of time please. Because you know, everyone can be your friend but not everyone will be there to support you when you're down. Like they say "when you're happy, your friends know who you are but when you're sad, you know who your friends are". I am really blessed tho because most of my friends are the supportive kind. And they will be there for you no matter what(tested proven and positive results shown hahahahhahaah!).


Not to forget, the darling boyfriend is always there for me too. He's been a good sport. I'm not even near to kidding. I've had a couple of failures in relationships to determine that he's the best I ever had. Yepp, i'm not even kidding on this one. Okay maybe we don't do things like normal couple do in public(holding hands, hugging, etc) instead we annoy the hell out of each other every single time. And we don't feel annoyed but we feel joy and excitement for annoying each other mwehehe :3.Weird right? I know. Hahaha, Izzad is prolly the only boyfriend who can tolerate my annoyingness and my irritatingness. And he is the only one who loves me for me. I don't have to put up heavy makeup or dress up like a princess or even lose some fats to impress him because he loves me just the way I am yay! And he's always listening to me nagging at him(heheheh, sorry baby!), complaining about my day and he ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS makes me smile in the end of a shitty day. THANKS BABY*INSERT HEARTS* I'm blessed to havvv you sayang! Probably the best gift Allah swt gave to me:').

Okay, so I know it's a boring post laaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Sigh..............
P.s. If my blog is so boring rightttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt, or you don't like my blog postsssss rightttt and you prefer to read some other interesting blogs right.........................you may click the 'x' button on the top right hand corner kthanksbye. :*

OKBYE:*

Oh gosh how much I miss blogging.
First and foremost, helllluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu people(idk if y'all still read my blog and notice if I update this, HAHA!).

Ahhhhh it's been so long since I last updated. MONTHS since I updated to be exact. Well, i'm sorry for abandoning you dear bloggy. I was super busy with my life and I swear I hardly had time for myself and my loved ones. Last sem(1.2) was super hectic please. I had assignments after assignments, tests after tests, submissions after submissions and I swear I was going crazy and I was SERIOUSLY on the verge of giving up. But there's only one thing that kept me going, my only motivation, my dad.

Well, yes. My dad is my motivation to keep going and to keep achieving greater heights. The reason why I want to do well is because of ma daddy. I wanna do well, get good grades(but this sem, I don't think I'll be able to do so) because I want my dad to be happy. So that people would know that he brought up his child well because I understand that in this cruel world, every single shit that you do would reflect to your parents in the end. I know "people" are looking at my dad everyday and 'finding out' about his life and how his children are doing. They're just waiting for the time to criticize my dad and no no i'm not gonna let that happen. Maybe that's the reason why I work very hard to maintain my grades and all. I love my dad and I wouldn't want to do anything bad that will reflect badly on him.

Friends. Well, my friends havvvv been super understanding patient and v sweet thruout this hectic journey.  Friends havvvv been there for me to constantly complain about my hectic life and yada yada. Thank Allah swt for these wonderful friends. You know who you are la huh! Hehehe. And of course, I'm glad to have a boyfriend who is ever so supportive and understanding. During my 'hectic' week, I didn't really spend time with him cause I needa rush lots of stuffs and he wasn't even mad at me. In return, he motivated me, supported me and 'lectured' me when I was on the verge of giving up on life.

Oh yes, I met my grandmum after so long today! Missed her man! Managed to catch up on life and stuffs like that. How I wish she was staying with us rn. I couldn really learn some more ancient recipes from her. Kekekekeke.

Well, for sure there's gonna be a bad in every good right.

Let's put it this way...........uhm, sometimes I don't know what people want from me. Every single shit that I do is always always always WRONG. Why? IDK MAN. Sigh. It's like the malay saying, Ketawa salah, senyum salam, sedih salah, nangis salah, diam salah, marah salah, senang cakap semua salah. To cut whatever I said in malay short, "Everything that I do is wrong, be it laughing, smiling, crying, scolding or even remain silent". Ridiculous isn't it. Tbh, I am still trying to figure out how to act around this particular person cause WHATEVER I DO IS ALWAYS WRONG. I am HONESTLY sick and tired of all the shits that you are giving me. Please, if you are reading this LEAVE MY FRIENDS AND I ALONE BECAUSE WE DON'T BOTHER YOU, NOT EVEN ONE BIT OK. We didn't do anything to disturb your life so please don't make our life a living hell. Pretty please. I SAID PLEASE OK SO STAHP WHATEVER YOU'RE DOING K. Because you're not gonna get anything from doing all this to us. Honestly. It will just reflect on how ridiculous you are. And it's not even a good thing so STAHP IT k. It would be nice if we could just be friends and JUST friends. If there's one thing I could advice you, it would be about choose who you wanna share this sensitive issues with. Because some are just there to 'break you' instead of 'fixing you' if you get what I mean. Yeah;/.

If there was one thing that I learned in year 1.2, it would be about TRUSTING PEOPLE. Yeap, I've had a couple of 'trust issues' in this sem and I finally learned how to trust people and what kind of people I should trust. After this sem, I know better about trusting people and stuffs like that. So yeah..

HAHAHAHAHA OH GOSH, I really missed blogging huh!
Kkay, I gotta head to bed now. So uber tired sigh. Xx.

Goodnight gaise luv y'all mwa:*
Xx.

NATIAHEHEHE.

Yes, I still can't sleep so here's another blog post about : Friendships.

"Friends will either break or make you" - anon.

Well, true enough. And i'm lucky and blessed for all the sweet and religious people around me right now. I think without you guys I wouldn't be as religious as I am now. And also blessed to have those positive people who always always always have the never give up attitude and the always concentrate and be focused on studies attitude. 

Just so you know, I've had recent fallouts with a couple of mates this few months. Sigh, and it sucks because I never wanted it to happen. I had two fallouts to be exact. One of which is very unexpected and I never wanted it to happen but it did. I don't know whether its me and my ego or was it really the other person who was trying to test my patience. 

Where shall I start? Sigh. I am tired of putting other people before myself first. Why? Simply because...........they don't appreciate. They just don't. They want everybody to accommodate to their schedule and when everybody accommodates, they will have plans to back out la what la. And it's not the first time it happened. When a couple of us told you off, you weren't happy and you left us, left the group. Wow, so that's how much you value our friendship. Instead of mending things, you just left and act as if nothing happened. I wonder if you even felt sorry or felt bad for ditching us for some other set of people who you just met like couple days before. Sigh, idk man.

Next fallout, well, this one wasn't expected. Okay maybe it was. If there's something you ought to know about me, it'll be that I don't really like hanging out/mixing around with people who contantly brings me down. Why? Because I hate feeling all shitty and negative and all about myself. The more shitty I feel, the more paranoid I become and the more my self-confidence will decrease. If you really meant good to me by criticizing me, then i'm sorry. I really don't like to be criticized, well nobody likes to. Maybe an alternative would be telling me nicely instead of just shooting me down with hurtful words. I swear you don't know how many times I broke down and cry because of those words. 

Do you want to know a ridiculous story?
One day a boy P fell in love with girl A but girl B was super jealous and girl B wanted to steal boy away from girl A(but girl A doesn't even gives a shit about boy). Girl B did all sort of stuffs to 
make boy P fall in love with her including flirting in an obvious way. Boy P doesn't even care about girl B, instead boy P wants to avoid talking to girl B in any way. One day, boy P confessed to girl A about his feelings and then..............................girl A rejected him indirectly because she belongs to someone else. Guess what, girl B dropped girl A a text telling her to back off. Now the problem is, boy P is trying so hard and girl A is not even doing anything...and girl B tells girl A to back off. Ridiculous right? Hahahahhahahahhahahahahaha:D

Okay, it's gonna be 2 soon, shall head to bed(I hope I could manage to).

OAKY GOODNIGHT AND THANKS FOR READING MY BLOG GAISE :B

HEY GUYS! 

Fwah, term test is over and guess what?! IT'S TIME FOR THE LONG AWAITED TERM BREAK YIPPEEEEEE okay, not really YIPPEE because I HAVE LIKE A LOT OF STUFFS TO DO FOR THE TERM BREAK AND I HAVE LOTSA PLANS FOR THIS BREAK. 

Next week will be super hectic for me because...................................I have a red hat certification workshop(23-24), TPSilat camp(26-27) && Project Makeover(28) back to back. HECTIC OR WHAT SIA?! HAHAHAHAHA. 

And okay so far my assignments are looking good, kkay only because I managed to complete the first part of ENNK assignment. Still stuck at programming assignments cause I SUCK AT PROGRAMMING. Yes, I do. And I know long time that programming was not my forte. Maybe i'm more interested on the networking site. Woohoooweeeeee. Hehehehehe. 

Okay, moving on........today's been a v emotional day for me. 
WHY?
KK, read on......



Today is like the first time in like uhm 10 months together (and 1 year plus re-contacting each other) that I have to seperate from my boyfriend. WHY? Hahaha, reason is: He's off to Gold Coast, Australia with his family for a holiday trip together. Of course i'm feeling so sad and all but my sadness is reduced by like 10 percent because I get to see him at the airport and send him off. It wasn't easy to say goodbye(because we had multiple byebyes and after we head off to our seperate ways, we still FaceTime and IT IS SO HARD TO SAY BYE) and the fact that he's gonna leave me ALONE for like 8 days kills me inside. Hahaha, not a big deal right? 8 DAYS JE. But YES, it is a freaking big deal for me because........................................................it's my first time being away from him and i'm so not used to sleeping without his goodnight texts(the reason why i'm still awake right now). Anyway, I hope you have a safe trip there syg, enjoy yourself and COME BACK IN ONE PIECE KKAY:D. 8 days away from you is gonna be tough! But we'll pull through. Hopefully there's some wifi or some shit there. Sigh, I REALLY CANT IMAGINE YOU GOING NS. Baru gi holiday dah rinduuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu semacam(mind you, its only been like 2 hours since he flew off), if NS........................Idk man. HAHAHAHAHAHA.



Not to forget, today's my daddeh's 43rd birthday. Fwah ayah, you're getting old but still handsome in my eyes ok! I've said whatever I wanna say on IG/FB/text. I just wanna let chu know that I could never ask for anyone better because you're the best I could ask for. I am always waking up feeling blessed to have a rich family. Not rich in terms of money but rich in terms of happiness. I know you worked hard to get us where we are now. You taught us that happiness need not be measured by any item but happiness can be measured by the amount of time you bond with your family, more to memories made. I am also blessed to have a dad who constantly believes in me in whatever I do. I remembered when I decided to turn over a new leaf, you actually supported me and encouraged me. When I first started poly, I had no hope of getting good grades, I told you that I was struggling the first semester. I cried, I almost gave up but you told me you know I can pull through, you instill hope into me. My term test results was quite ok. I had a couple of B's and C's. You told me to work hard and get a good GPA, I told you that it was impossible and you told me "Ayah believe in my daughter, I know you have the fighting spirit inside of you. I know you can get good GPA". And true enough, I did manage to get a good GPA last sem. I hope I can do you proud again this sem, ayah. Thanks for giving so much to the family. I really hope once I graduate, I could contribute back to you. I love you so much ayah, I lav you the same as how I love arwah mama;'). I'll do whatever it takes to make both of you proud;")

Okay, I shall try to force myself to sleep or continue with assignments! I think i'll go with number two. Hahahaha, okay byebye guys:D

Pissed.

Let me start by telling you people how ANNOYED and ANGRY I am today. So basically today, I just found out that (insertname) blogged about my friends and I. And i'm kind enough to not mention you name here, in my blog. BECAUSE I DO NOT WISH TO DOWNGRADE OR CAUSE ANY EMBARRASSMENT TO YOU.

Firstly, I would like to say that THANKS FOR MAKING ME, NAT, ZUL AND NAZ POPULAR ON YOUR PAGE. Wow, we are more than honored to get a POST on your blog. WOW THANKS EH THANK YOU SO MUCH. In return, I shall blog about you then. ONE WHOLE F---ING BLOG POST ABOUT YOU:).

I don't know where to start. I am just so pissed like that. I have totally lose all respect towards you ok. GUYS PLEASE, IF YOU EVER HAVE A PROBLEM WITH MY CLIQUE&I, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE FOR GODS SAKE CONFRONT US INSTEAD OF JUST RANTING ABOUT US ON YOUR BLOG. You have a problem with us, SETTLE IT WITH US. You don't have to f---ing type it on your blog and let the world see how BAD we are.

I'm not saying my clique&I are perfect like that, we have our flaws too.
EH WHAT THE FUCK LA DOG. You said you couldn't trust because Nat&I posted a picture of the clique on our instagram. EH SIAL LA, HOW OLD ARE YOU AGAIN? 13? 12? Grow up la. The reason why we didn't ask you is simple. WE ARE TIRED OF REJECTION. We asked you out for every single outing but did you ever come? NO. Iftar, study, lunch, you name it. NO you are always busy la what la this la that la. SO MANY REASONS. And it all brings down to two letters, N O. So after many rejections, do you think that we should invite you anymore? NO.

Anyway we aren't that close in school ANYMORE. Let me make things clear. YOU CHOSE TO WALK OUT OF OUR LIVES NOT US. You ignored us in school, skipped lessons, stay away from us in tutorials, sometimes you didn't even bother to talk to any of us in school. Did you mention that in your blog? NO. I can't believe you actually said we betrayed your trust. Is it wrong to just spend the day, 4 of us? Is it? We didn't isolate you, YOU ISOLATED YOURSELF LONG TIME AGO YOU LITTLE BITCH. You hate us? YOU THINK WE FUCKING CARE. We gave up on you long time bro. IF WE AREN'T YOUR FUCKING FRIENDS WE WOULDN'T CARE ABOUT YOU SKIPPING PROGRAMMING LESSONS, SKIPPING CARC LESSONS, WE WOULDNT EVEN BOTHER TEXTING YOU AND PERSUADING YOU TO COME FOR FUCKING LESSONS. Now just because of a fucking picnic, you FORGOT all that. COME ON LA SIA. You regret knowing us? WE DON'T. We take YOU as a lesson and try to learn something good out of it. OH YEAH SO YOU LABELED US "BUSTEDS" WOW. THESE BUSTEDS ARE THE ONE WHO HELPED YOU IN YOUR FUCKING POLY LIFE LAH EH.

I'M TELLING YOU, IF YOU DON'T CHANGE YOUR BLOODY ATTITUDE, NOBODY IS EVER GOING TO STAY FRIENDS WITH YOU FOR LONG.

WOW I DIDN'T KNOW HAPPY PICNIC PICTURES MEANS OUR TRUE COLOURS ARE REVEALED.

I AM REALLY SHOCKED AH REALLY AH.

Okay enough.

And DON'T SAY I'M A COWARD BY BLOGGING AH. I TEXTED YOU STRAIGHT AT YOUR MOBILE. IF YOU DARE WRITE A BLOG POST ABOUT MY FRIENDS&I WITHOUT REPLYING MY TEXT OR NAT'S, YOU BETTER WATCH OUT. 

Judge.


"Don't judge a book by its cover" nice saying right? Sighz, if only some people understood the meaning of this. 

Well, I've been contemplating to blog about this one but............let's just let it out yah? Okay. So here is it. 

Okay, I think most of the people who are generally close to me would know that I am very very VERY PARANOID AND INSECURE. I get paranoid over every single shit that happened. And very insecure about the way I look, the way I dress and stuffs like that. It took me VERY VERY long to actually step out of the "insecure zone" and finally feel comfortable again. Especially with what i'm wearing to school/out/whatnot. Usually I will plan what to wear and pack my bag the day before and stuffs like that. But on my late days, i'll just grab whatever I see and wear it. So..............some months back, someone actually told me off. Like in a very upsetting(well to me it is) way. Like "what are you wearing omg" or "omg what kind of fashion sense you have here" or "sial la buruk sia (wahlao ugly sia)" or "that shoe -blahblahblah-" something like that. Tbh, my self -esteem dropped and my insecurity level rises afterwards. 

Well, I would LIE and say that it doesn't hurt or whatnot. Okay it hurts for a while lah, and then it gets ok and then the cycle repeats itself. What happened to "be yourself"? Now its like......."be what the society wants you to be" and it sucks because some people rather die than be themselves. That's how ridiculous society is. AND IT SUCKS SO MUCH. I don't come from a family who dresses up and who's loaded with cash so I can get all those fancy and expensive clothes. Understand please? I know my fashion sense is like............ NEGATIVE 987654321 but please.

I'm not blogging to like hit on the person or whatnot but I HAVE FEELINGS YA KNOW. And it kinda hurts when you tell me off like that. So yeah:/

Okay thats all for tonight.
BYE XOXO.