Monday, April 26, 2010
- Monday, April 26, 2010
what shud i feeeel now? insecure? lost? should i just go under a rock and hide myself so that no one can find me. or should i ignore it and act as if nothing happened. what should i do. i`m down with tears again. yeah, i told soffy, 'lately i`ve beeeen crying over the smalllest stuffs'. what is wrong wimme?! ugh~. i feel happpy everytime he text me, its like it made my day and it shows me that he remembers me. although i cant really talk to him on the phone 24/7. or i dont get he's attention 24/7 . or even he's messages. yeah, i understand, he cant possibly be around me everytime *cries*. and, wondering why i post it here instead of telling him straight. i dont wnna hurt him anymore. i pity him. macam, y'knw, he's beeeen thru alot of hurt from other girls. i dont wnna worsen the hurt. i`m trying to make it better. i dont wnna burden him by saying, 'bi, i tak suke gini2.' or 'bi, i dont like that, CHANGE!?!' NO. never will. as much as i love him, i keeeep everything i feeeel inside. even leaving my old ways(suke merajok, suke complain, suke ngamok kalau tk reply message, etc.). yes, IT HURTS ME FUCKING MUCH. but, im doing all this for you. i find myself crying every night when i`m going to sleeeep. and when i wake up, i act as if nothing happened. i put a smile on my face to ease everyone's worries. i hardly say a thing to anyone. i always wanted to wake up hearing your voice/ checking my phn for your message. but, i know, i cant put on hope too much. its just hurting me worser. i always sounded happy while talking to you. but did you know what i really felt when you didnt text me, when you played your games are left me waiting on the other line, when you slept before me and left me talking all by myself, the times when i got something to say, but you ignored me and when you removed my name from your pm(kay, thats lame)<(but i stll feeeel sad). i know i didnt make a good girlfriend. i`m sorrry. these tears cant stop flooding over me. and now, i`m waiting for he's call. i hope i`ll stop crying and pretend that i`m okay. tapi sampai bile aku nak simpan ni sume dari die. i`m trying to make him happy. dah ckop die kene sekse ngn ppn laen~ :'( , butt, i cant believe im crying. ugh. and i dont wanna share my sadness with you, i`ll just share the happy moments with you. i guess you wont read this post cos, i bet you wont remember my link. well, i shall stop here. tissues, anyone? :"(Labels: catch me when i fall
