So numb. I don't know what to feel anymore.


So basically, I've been in love, I've been Hurt and I've lost my loved ones before. It's not like they passed away or what not. They're still breathing but it's just that....we don't talk anymore. You know how sad it is to break relations with someone who knows everything about you. Maybe better than you know yourself. I mean like, why can't ex-boyfriends/girlfriends be bestfriends? Isn't it sad. The one you talk to everyday, meet everytime, the one you share your problems with, you hug&kiss, the one that'll act silly with you....is now a complete stranger. How I wish I could turn back time, see where'd I go wrong and amend my mistake. But honestly, I wouldn't want to get back with any of my ex-es. Yes. Really. Because it'll be awkward. Very super extra awkward. Why? Because he/she/you may tend to repeat the same mistakes AGAIN and honestly I think second chances won't work anymore. It's like...history repeating itself again.

Yes, maybe I do feel jealous/hurt/tense whenever people tell me about their love life/how sweet their boyfriend is to them. But I don't want to be rude either by stopping them from saying whatever they want. I am happy for my friends who are attached/whatnot. Haha! I wish they'll last.

Okay so here's the wierd thing about me. I may miss being in love or what not. But a few seconds later....I would be like...nah, I'm better off single. Okay maybe I miss those moments that I used to share with my ex-es. But hey, nothing lasts forever.

Maybe it's not about the person. It's the person you used to be when you're with that special someone. The joy you had. The tears you shed. Maybe you miss being in love..but you don't miss being with the person. You get it?

To think of it...being attached is more hurtful than being single. Because as far as I remember. Towards the end....I always fake a smile to ensure that everything is right So that he guy won't worry or whatnot. Insecurities, you call it?

I used to be paranoid. Very paranoid. Maybe because I think that I'm not that good looking that's why whenever j am attached, I make sure my boyfriend stays true to me. Just me. But I learnt my mistake lah! Cannot be too Clingy. Hahaha! Thinking back....I am really that annoying ah.

I think I'm better off single rather than being attached. Hahah! Serious. Okay. Soo...........it's Already a year that I'm leading this solo life. Haha! Yes, there are times when I felt lonely and stuff. But I know Allah knows what's best for me. I believe everything happens for a reason. Maybe all of my ex-es left me for a reason. Which I don't wish to know also:). Wahaha!

Time check...11.47. Off to bed now:). Goodnight:). Xoxo.