Thursday, January 10, 2013
- Thursday, January 10, 2013
DAMN, IN TWELVE HOURS I'LL BE RECEIVING MY RESULTS.
SIGH. I'M REALLY SCARED. REALLY REALLY SCARED.
SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. KILL ME NOW.
I CAN'T SLEEP.
I AM OVER-THINKING.
SIGH AGAIN SIGH.
Anyway hi readers! HAHAHA. Thanks yous fors readings my blogzzzzzz.
Ah goodness. This song's been playing on my head since just now.
What happened to us - Jessica Mauboy & Jay Sean.
Its like 2.08 AM now and I AM STILL FRESH AS EVER. OH GOSH.
Tbh, thousands of things are going through my mind.
EXAMS/LIFE/LOVE/WHATNOT.
Screw it lah. SCREW EVERYTHING.
AH YES. I FINALLY FOUND A SONG TO DESCRIBE WHAT I FEEL.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=elznTvx8l50
"Cause if being with you means being alone, never know when you're coming home. Then I guess i'm better off on my own."
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I'M BLOGGING.
I should just head to sleep.
P/S, Izzad told me he's not going to sleep but he texted me a goodnight text an hour ago. AH YELA BANYAK KAU NYE TAK SLEEP EH. In the end, aku yang awake sorang sorang. HAHAHAHAHA.
Better catch up on sleep before I start work next week :P.
I BETTER START PREPARING MYSELF FOR THE WORST CASE SCENARIO TOMORROW.
BROUGHT 2 PACKS OF TISSUES.
PREPARED TO CRY.
SIGH.
I DON'T WANT TO GET MY RESULTS. REALLY. BUT SYA SAID "AFTER WE TAKE OUR RESULTS WE'LL FEEL LESS BURDENED". TRUE THAT.
SIGH.
SIGH
SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
I AM SO SCARED SHIT NOW.
OKAY BYE.
Labels: WORLD'S MOST BORING POST
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
- Tuesday, January 08, 2013
Oh hello and hi there.
Today was a m a z i n g.
Yes amazing! Muahaha! Went to RP and NYP open house with my bestfriend! Spend some quality time with her! Shared stories and all! Gosh. It's been so long since we had a bestfriend-quality time. Muahahah^^. Should actually spend more time with her! At least I'll avoid myself from going to lousy 'dates' and get myself hurt all over again. HAHAHAHAHAHA.
Today when I woke up, I swear I was in tears. WHY DEA WHY? I saw something on twitter. YES AND IT'S FUCKING SAD because I HAVE BEEN BOTTLING UP EMOTIONS AND THEN SOMETHING HAD TO APPEAR IN FRONT OF MY EYES. And TA-DA there you go a fountain of melancholy.
I AM SO SAD FOR MYSELF. I CAN'T BELIEVE I FREAKING STOOD THERE AND WAITED LIKE A STUPID KID WHEN YOU ARE LIKE HAVING FUN AND ENTERTAINING SOME OTHER GIRLS. HAHAHAHAHAH DEA KENAPE KAU BODOH SANGAT. LIKE REALLY WHY DEA WHY?! WHY ARE YOU SO STUPID? HE IS LIKE HAVING THE FUCKING TIME OF HIS LIFE AND YOU ARE HERE DROWNING YOURSELF IN ALL THESE SORROWS AND SELF PITY.
AND YES I REALISED THAT I WAS HOLDING ON TO SOMETHING WHICH WAS ALREADY GONE. I hope one day some girl will treat you like how you treat me. And then at that point of time you'll be
'Aw man, I shouldn't treat dea like that. '
IN SIMPLE ENGLISH, I HOPE KARMA HITS YOU ON YOUR DICK REAL HARD TILL YOU CAN'T HAVE FUCKING KIDS OKAY. Moron loser idiot asshole cheespye and all the words that has the same meaning as all the above.
I finally opened my eyes and.......I will TRY my best not to give a fuck anymore. All this love shit is killing me deep down inside.
Lotsoflove,
Deaxoxo.
Labels: MISERABLE? OH NO I AM NOT:P.
Monday, January 7, 2013
- Monday, January 07, 2013
Sometimes you don't realise that your actions are really hurtful. You want to do something right but it's wrong.
You told me you don't want me to put on high hopes by texting me and treating me like a 'girlfriend' because you're unsure of your feelings and you don't want to hurt me. So you stopped saying 'sweet' things to me, texting me during your free time, you hardly have time for me, you stopped doing the things like you used to do a few days back. The problem is.....you did gave me hopes and suddenly you stopped. AND GUESS WHAT. YES, I'm hurt. But i'm a coward. I didn't have the guts to tell you straight in the face that I AM DAMN BLOODY HURT BY WHAT HAPPENED. Instead, I act like a stupid dumb asshole and suck it all in. Pretend like nothing happened and yeah.
When deep inside, i'm screaming, crying, kicking, punching, dying and all the horrible/miserable words you could think of.
I wish you knew how exactly I felt.
I wish you would stop being so selfish and start sparing a thought for me. Treat me like I exist
Most of all, I wish you would care.
I missed the good old times. When we could like sing aloud and don't care about what people say. I miss the times that you would hug me tight when i'm cold. I missed those calls, sweet texts. I miss listening to your voice. I miss your lame jokes. I MISS YOU IDIOT.
For now, i'm just going with the flow. Apparently, that's the best thing to do now.
Ps, ITSUCKSTOREADYOURTWEETSANDKNOWTHINGSTHATIDON'TWANTTOKNOW.
______________________________________________________________________________
Oh and yes, O LEVEL RESULTS IN ON THURSDAY. KILL ME. REALLY. KILL ME. I am so damn nervous now. SIGH:(
Anyway, I went for Temasek Poly's Open House && Ngee Ann Poly's Open House with sya, dorc, sof and miaowen.
IT WAS AWESOME BUT I'M DEAD TIRED. GONN HEAD TO BED NAO SINCE I'M GOING FOR RP'S OPEN HOUSE TOMORROW. LOOKING FORWARD TO SPEND THE DAY WITH LE BESTIE TOMORROW :D.
GOODNIGHT XOXO.
Labels: HURT
Saturday, January 5, 2013
- Saturday, January 05, 2013
This sucks.
Yes it does.
Everytime I fall in love or whatnot. I'll always receive the cold shoulders. Sigh.
I don't know how it happened, honestly. Like seriously. And the feeling sucks. So much.
Why can't I be in love and feel loved like everyone else.
You made me fall for you, you treated me like i'm special. Suddenly, you just avoid me. Left me struggling here without a reason.
You used to do sweet things to me. Text me when you wake up(even tho it's just waking up from a bad dream and sleeping back again). But now what. Sigh.
I should have known. I should have.
Actually I know what am I getting myself into. I just didn't expect to fall out of it so fast. Too fast.
I didn't know where I went wrong. I put up with your angstyness without even complaining. I was even willing to travel the distance for you. I was super tired after work but I still drag myself to meet you. And this is what I get in return.
I'm not bragging or bringing up. I just didn't know where I went wrong.
I didn't expect it to turn out this way. I am completely uttermost sad.
I smile. I laugh. I hide all my sorrows. But if you look deep inside me. You'll see the sorrows, the pain, the tears that I held back.
Staying strong.
Just following the flow.
I hope allah will guide me to the right path.
Xoxo,
Labels: Broken
Thursday, January 3, 2013
- Thursday, January 03, 2013
NUFFSAID.
